“When you possibly can’t look on the brilliant aspect, I’ll sit with you in the dead of night.” ~Unknown
There are moments in life when ache feels consuming—when it lingers, reshapes us, and forces us to confront elements of ourselves we’ve lengthy prevented. Lately, I discovered myself in a type of moments.
I used to be overwhelmed, unraveling, and isolating, making an attempt to make sense of feelings that felt heavy. In that house, I wrote this message to an in depth good friend—somebody who has stood by me by means of my highs and lows, but somebody I now notice I haven’t all the time proven up for in the way in which they deserved.
That is greater than only a letter. It’s an acknowledgment of the load we feature, the way in which we heal, and the significance of holding house for these we love.
It’s a reminder that ache doesn’t should be rushed, that therapeutic isn’t about fixing however about remembering we had been by no means damaged to start with. And most significantly, it’s a promise—to my good friend, to myself, and to anybody who has ever felt unseen—that we’re by no means really alone.
Right here’s my message…
You understand, these previous few days, all I’ve finished is sleep, assume, cry, and hearken to music. I haven’t left the home until it’s for work, and even then, I really feel like I’m simply going by means of the motions.
I’ve been letting myself really feel all the pieces—selecting to sit down with it—though it’s terrifying. It feels deep and uncooked, and typically it pulls me into locations so heavy, I’m wondering if I’ll ever discover my method out. However surprisingly, in all of that darkness, it seems like one thing inside me is shedding and peeling away. It’s painful, however on the similar time, it’s therapeutic. It’s the sort of ache that comes with development, even when it doesn’t really feel prefer it within the second.
I do know this in all probability sounds heavy, perhaps even overwhelming, however one thing triggered this—one thing linked to an outdated, deeply rooted wound for me—and it’s compelled me to sit down with feelings I’ve been carrying for a very long time. The influence I’ve had, it’s onerous to clarify, even to myself, however I really feel like one thing has shifted—in life and inside me.
Right here’s what I’ve come to comprehend: Ache doesn’t should be rushed. Therapeutic doesn’t should be rushed.
Generally, we simply must let ourselves be in our emotions, even when it’s messy and onerous. And what I’ve discovered is that we are able to maintain house for our disappointment with out letting it outline us. By sitting with it and never working away, we give it an opportunity to show us one thing about who we’re, the place we’ve been, and the place we’re headed.
I do know sitting in it for too lengthy isn’t wholesome. However there’s an influence in honoring your feelings, in giving your self permission to really feel what you are feeling with out judgment. It’s an act of affection and compassion towards your self, a reminder that your ache is legitimate, your journey is legitimate, and you’re legitimate.
With out diving into the entire story simply but—which I promise I’ll share with you when the time feels proper—I would like you to know that I see you. I admire your persistence with me by means of all of this, and I would like you to understand how a lot love I’ve for you.
I do know it hasn’t been simple for you. For some time now, there have been so many moments which have felt overwhelming, and plenty of wounds have reopened and been re-triggered.
If I may return, I’d’ve proven up in another way in each single second you trusted me along with your emotions. I’d’ve made positive you by no means felt disgrace for feeling the way in which you probably did. As an alternative of making an attempt to repair it, I’d’ve sat with you within the discomfort and reminded you that your feelings are usually not a burden and that you’re worthy of affection even in your hardest moments.
I see now how vital it’s to let somebody really feel their emotions totally and to carry house for them with out judgment or strain. I want I may’ve finished that for you each time. However what I can do now’s present you, transferring ahead, that not everybody will allow you to down. Not everybody will go away.
My love for you runs deep. I see you. I see all of you—your energy, your softness, your magnificence, even within the hardest moments. And I would like you to know, with no shadow of a doubt, that you’re beloved. You might be sufficient precisely as you’re, and I’m right here for you. All the time.
I invite you to maintain sharing your emotions with me. I’ll maintain house for you in the way in which you deserve and remind you each single day that you’re beloved and seen. You don’t have to hold something alone, and there’s no rush to be “okay.”
Take your time. Therapeutic isn’t about fixing your self; it’s about remembering that you just had been by no means damaged to start with. It’s okay to really feel deeply. It’s an indication of your humanity, your braveness, and your capability to like. Be mild with your self. Compassion isn’t simply one thing you give to others—it’s one thing you should obtain, particularly from your self.
And irrespective of how heavy issues get in life, keep in mind, you’re not alone, and therapeutic just isn’t linear.
I’m right here, and I’ll preserve displaying up for you as you present up for your self.
I like you.
About Mirsada Asipi
Mirsada Asipi lives in Iowa, born to refugee dad and mom. Their silent struggles formed her. She’s spent a lot of her life carrying the load of issues left unsaid—hers and theirs. Journaling grew to become the one place she may very well be totally trustworthy, a strategy to course of ache, fact, and the tenderness in between. This message, like a lot of what she writes, is for anybody who’s ever felt unseen. You’re not an excessive amount of. You’re not alone. You might be, and have all the time been, worthy.
