If you wish to make an upcoming birthday a enjoyable and lighthearted celebration then in the present day’s submit will allow you to out.
In it I wish to share 91 of the wittiest and most humorous birthday quotes about youth, getting old and life.
Use one or a few them in a card, in a textual content or a social media submit on for instance Instagram.
Or just use considered one of them in your birthday speech to your good friend, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you might be celebrating to make them chuckle and make their big day much more enjoyable.
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Associates (and Your Finest Pal)
“You might be solely younger as soon as, however you possibly can keep immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash
“I consider you forgot my birthday current final 12 months, so now I’m returning the favor. Glad Birthday!”
– Unknown
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and any individual’s drunk within the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years expertise.”
– Unknown
“Wanting fifty is nice – for those who’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Inside each older individual is a youthful individual – questioning what the hell occurred.”
– Jennifer Yane
“Life is a reasonably good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“The older you get, the higher you get. Until you’re a banana.”
– Betty White
“The key of staying younger is to dwell truthfully, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“Age is strictly a case of thoughts over matter. For those who don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny
“Birthdays are nature’s means of telling us to eat extra cake.”
– Unknown
“A good friend by no means defends a husband who will get his spouse an electrical skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Age will not be vital until you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“I’m at an age when my again goes out greater than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I consider in loyalty. When a girl reaches an age she likes, she ought to keep it up.”
– Eva Gabor
“My grandmother began strolling 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know the place the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres
“Finally you attain a degree if you cease mendacity about your age and begin bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers
“The primary hundred years are the toughest.”
– Wilson Mizner
“When a person has a birthday, he takes a time off. However when my spouse has a birthday, she takes a 12 months or two off.”
– Joan Rivers
“From delivery to age 18, a lady wants good dad and mom. From 18 to 35, she wants attractiveness. From 35 to 55, she wants character. From 55 on, she wants good money.”
– Sophie Tucker
Quick and Humorous Birthday Quotes on Getting Older
“You understand you’re getting previous when the candles price greater than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“Age is a matter of thoughts over matter. For those who don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“You’re in mint situation for a classic mannequin. Glad Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Outdated age is like all the things else. To make a hit of it, you’ve acquired to begin younger.”
– Fred Astaire
“Don’t fear about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it would keep away from you.”
– Joey Adams
“A diplomat is a person who all the time remembers a girl’s birthday however by no means remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“I’ll by no means be an previous man. To me, previous age is all the time 15 years older than I’m.”
– Francis Bacon
“Simply keep in mind, when you’re over the hill you start to select up velocity.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“I used to be introduced as much as respect my elders, so now I don’t need to respect anyone.”
– George Burns
“There’s nonetheless no treatment for the frequent birthday.”
– John Glenn
“You understand you’ve aged if you learn occasions you lived in a historical past ebook.”
– Will Ferrell
“Age is a quantity and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown
“Rising previous is necessary; rising up is non-compulsory.”
– Chili Davis
“You understand you’re getting previous if you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See for those who can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“Center age is if you nonetheless consider you’ll really feel higher within the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“As you become older, three issues occur. The primary is your reminiscence goes, and I can’t keep in mind the opposite two.”
– Norman Knowledge
“You understand you’re getting previous when all the things hurts. And what doesn’t harm doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner
“You might be solely younger as soon as, however you will be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier
“Every little thing that goes up should come down. However there comes a time when not all the things that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns
“We don’t develop previous. After we stop to develop, we grow to be previous.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Ladies on Growing old Gracefully
“Like many ladies my age, I’m 28 years previous.”
– Mary Schmich
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“I don’t want you to remind me of my age. I’ve a bladder to try this for me.”
– Stephen Fry
“At all times be good to your kids as a result of they’re those who will select your relaxation residence.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I don’t plan to develop previous gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts till my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner
“You understand you’ve reached center age if you’re cautioned to decelerate by your physician, as an alternative of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers
“ rule to recollect for all times is that in terms of cosmetic surgery and sushi, by no means be attracted by a cut price.”
– Graham Norton
“Individuals say, ‘The way you keep trying so younger?’ I say, nicely, good lighting, good medical doctors, and good make-up.”
– Dolly Parton
“My face carries all my recollections. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg
“Growing old appears to be the one out there method to dwell a protracted life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve acquired so many wrinkles; I must be sponsored by a prune firm!”
– Unknown
“Wrinkles ought to merely point out the place the grins have been.”
– Mark Twain
“Pay attention. I want I might inform you it will get higher. However, it doesn’t get higher. You get higher.”
– Joan Rivers
“Growing old gracefully means being versatile, being open, permitting change, having fun with change, and loving your self.”
– Wendy Whelan
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Males on the Inevitable Modifications in Life
“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that will triple its worth yearly. I advised him, ‘At my age, I don’t even purchase inexperienced bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper
“A person has reached center age when he’s warned to decelerate by his physician as an alternative of the police.”
– Henry Youngman
“Once I was a boy the Lifeless Sea was solely sick.”
– George Burns
“Center age is when your broad thoughts and slender waist start to alter locations.”
– E. Joseph Cossman
“You’re solely as previous as the lady you’re feeling.”
– Groucho Marx
“Anybody will be assured with a full head of hair. However a assured bald man – there’s your diamond within the tough.”
– Larry David
“In center age, the soul must be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes
“Center age is the awkward interval when Father Time begins catching up with Mom Nature.”
– Harold Coffin
“I’m very happy to be right here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m very happy to be wherever.”
– George Burns
“Center age is if you’re confronted with two temptations and also you select the one that may get you residence by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I imply, I’m not a child anymore. I might go tomorrow. And I hope I am going tomorrow. I haven’t gone in the present day but.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“Life’s a brief journey. You’ll discover out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“I’ve been in remedy. I do know sufficient about myself now to know that I actually don’t have to know anymore.”
– Larry David
“Center age is if you’ve met so many individuals that each new individual you meet reminds you of another person.”
– Ogden Nash
“The one method to hold your well being is to eat what you don’t need, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d moderately not.”
– Mark Twain
“Glad Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s good, humorous, and handsome, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all of your greatest qualities.”
– Good/Sensible Little one
“Outdated age is if you resent the swimsuit concern of Sports activities Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.”
– George Burns
“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Coworkers
“Why is a birthday cake the one meals you possibly can blow on and spit on, and all people rushes to get a bit?”
– Bobby Kelton
“Yearly on my birthday, I begin a brand new playlist titled after my present age so I can hold monitor of my favourite songs of the 12 months as a kind of musical diary as a result of I’m a teenage lady.”
– Chris Hardwick
“Due to fashionable medical advances equivalent to antibiotics, nasal spray, and Food regimen Coke, it has grow to be routine for folks within the civilized world to cross the age of 40, typically greater than as soon as.”
– Dave Barry
“True terror is to get up one morning and uncover that your highschool class is operating the nation.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“The aim of life is to take all the things that made you bizarre as a child and get folks to pay you cash for it if you’re older.”
– David Freeman
“You understand you’re getting previous when all of the names in your black ebook have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford
“We might actually sluggish the getting old course of down if it needed to work its means by means of Congress.”
– Will Rogers
“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns
“Combating getting old is just like the Battle on Medicine. It’s costly, does extra hurt than good, and has been confirmed to by no means finish.”
– Amy Poehler
“The getting old course of will not be gradual or mild. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer
“I used to be occupied with how folks appear to learn the Bible much more as they become older, after which it dawned on me – they’re cramming for his or her last examination.”
– George Carlin
“Outdated age comes at a nasty time.”
– San Banducci
“Don’t let getting old get you down. It’s too exhausting to get again up.”
– John Wagner
“Center age is if you’re sitting at residence on a Saturday evening and the phone rings, and also you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns
“We don’t cease enjoying as a result of we develop previous. We develop previous as a result of we cease enjoying.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“If I’d identified I used to be going to dwell this lengthy, I’d have taken higher care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“I’ve too many wrinkles to have this little cash!”
– Cathy Guisewite
“You understand you’re getting previous if you stoop to tie your shoelaces and marvel what else you are able to do when you’re down there.”
– George Burns
“It’s true, some wine improves with age. However provided that the grapes have been good within the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren
Need extra inspiration for celebrations developing quickly? Then try these inspirational birthday quotes, the quick birthday quotes on this submit and the inspirational marriage ceremony quotes right here. Plus, this one with quick marriage ceremony quotes.
